I recognize that this is "catastrophization" at the highest level. And, honestly, I'm writing this to help exorcise this impulse-- but if you have anxiety, love kittens, or do not want to be afraid of anything and everything all at once, probably don't read this.
Screencap taken 9:45 a.m. on 06-28-2023 courtesy of Interactive maps (wi.gov)
With the Canadian wildfire smoke encroaching on the midwest, making my corner of Southeastern Wisconsin a national leader in air pollution, I am fighting my general belief that this experience, as all experiences are, is a harbinger of hubris-driven disaster.
I am driven to reflect on an experience only nearly remembered as a child, wherein my family attempted to "humanely" put down unwanted barn cats by putting them in a burlap sack and tying it to the exhaust pipe of a 1980 GMC Sierra. (It was blue, by the way.)
This was done once, I believe, and then never again. Because it is abhorrent, I recognize this. But humanity is not so far evolved from when this was a matter of course. We are only just learning to be better.
I, for my part, was interested in getting the experiment started. My father and I found the burlap sack; the kittens were placed inside it. It was affixed to the tailpipe, and the vehicle was started.
I recall the fear and horror sinking into my belly as I realized -- despite the suggestions made to the contrary -- that the kittens were suffering-- mewing in confusion and sickness as they became weaker and weaker. I immediately started to panic. To cry. To want to demand we stop. But I was coming to understand that there was no road back. If we stopped now, the Kittens would suffer irreversible harm because we sought to extinguish them. It would be crueler than just seeing the deed through if we stopped now.
At that moment, I wished for a way to undo what we had done. To stop, reset, and never connect that bag of kittens to that tailpipe. And yet, that is a fool's wish. These kittens were lost. The only way to honor them is never to repeat the same mistake.
Practical atmospheric effects added by Canadian Wildfires.
And so here we are today. In a smokey haze sinking from Canada. Making our Midwestern sensibilities rethink the social contract, wondering if, somehow, this isn't a symptom of some lesson unlearned.
Perhaps, from the perspective of Global climate change, it is the kitten's lesson again. People will die from this-- I hope it's not someone you know and love-- let us honor them by never repeating the same mistake.
If you can get to higher ground, now is the time.